In the last few weeks, I've really started to appreciate how dumb I am. I've been more-or-less drafted into understanding Joomla as a job requirement; ordinarily, I'm just a guy who writes articles, not code.

Metamod Pro seems to be Exactly what I need to bring a Joomla site up to scratch, by allowing me to use the right and left module spaces for supporting content specific to each page. For example, I have a review of "Avatar" or something, and want a cast list in a right module position for the film on just that "Avatar" page.

Now - getting it to go is another story.

1) I create a custom HTML module containing content-specific text:

<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><img src="/joomla/images/stories/moorer.png" border="0" /></strong></p>
<p><strong>Release Date: </strong>2/09/2010</p>
<p><strong>Rykodisc</strong></p>
<p>1. Abalone Sky<br /> 2. Goodbye to the Ground<br /> 3. Just Another Fool<br /> 4. The Broken Girl<br /> 5. Should I Be Concerned<br /> 6. When You Wake Up  Feeling Bad<br /> 7. Easy in the Summertime<br /> 8. Stars and I (Mama's  Song) <br /> 9. Still This Side of Gone<br /> 10. Like the Rain<br /> 11.  Sorrow (Don't Come Around)<br /> 12. It's Gonna Feel Good<br /> 13. Crows</p>

I name that module "Crows," after the album review in the content. The module number is 335.

2) I check the metamodule pro plug-in; there's nothing I can monkey with in there, so I leave it alone.

3) I get into the meta of the review page, and toss in some very specific keywords: "Moorer,Crows,LINK_335"

4) Now it gets ugly. Into a copy of metamodule, also named "Crows." Show Title, Enable, Top-Right placement, Public, No Menu placement. Start today.

5) I screwed up both the long and short versions of your recipe for module inclusion by keyword, so let's just show the short version:

$document =& JFactory::getDocument();
$content = $document->getMetaData('LINK_335');
$result = preg_match_all('#LINK_335');
if ($result > 0) {
  return $matches[1];
}

Save... check the page, and there's nothin' there. Pro did it's job; it doesn't open the right module as a placeholder. It just didn't do anything visible at all.

To see the non-thing, wander over to www.bobbankard.com, and click the allison moorer picture that runs through the slideshow that runs at the top.

I figure if I can get one page working, I can back-engineer the thing to fit it to all additional page builds. Could you treat me like the moron I am, and explain to me in non-coder's language how I can get this thing running? Thanks!

- Bob